Yesterday was Test Day!

23 02 2010

According to Fertility Friend, yesterday was test day as I was 12 DPO. I usually get a visit from AF around 11 DPO but she hasn’t came to visit yet. But it’s not for the lack of trying on her part, I’m getting the same old telltale “pulling” pains.

So I did the test anyway and no surprise:    it was a BFN!

It looks like the Clomid might actually lengthen my luteal phase if nothing else.

I still haven’t ordered more OPK’s for next month, I’m going to wait until it’s definitely, without a doubt, over this month… yip I’m clinging on to that little bit of hope by my fingernails!

I have some hope only because I’ve got the cold and with that a cold sore (which I haven’t had for about 10 years).

My friend told me when she fell pregnant she went to the doc with a bad cold and instead of recommending the usual bed rest, cough medicine etc. she was asked to do a pregnancy test. To her shock it came back positive and her period wasn’t even late by this point!

And yes I have searched FF for all the charts that have BFN’s before BFP’s. Even found one girl on the net who’s pregnancy test didn’t appear positive until she was 18 DPO.

Hope does live here…but only for the briefest of moments!


What a week…

25 11 2009

So I’ve got my good underwear on again… it’s time to see Pascal the Acupuncturist tonight!! I must say I feel like I need to see him, it’s been a long week and I’m looking forward to relaxing and chilling out for a bit!

My boss’ daughter had a wee boy the other day and I was invited to look at the photo’s etc. My boss when telling me how chuffed he is said “I can’t describe it, you’ll not know what it feels like until it happens to you”. My eyes were stinging with tears trying to break out and my throat felt like it’d been clamped shut. I got a dull stabbing pain in my chest and could only nod at him in agreement. I really could have screamed “No shit Einstein! You know I’m trying to experience that for myself, why oh f*cking why would you say such a thing to me you insensitive twat”!

Needles to say I wasn’t in too great a mood after that, coupled with the fact that AF is imminent and I’ve got PMS from hell!

You know I get so angry with myself month after month. I mean how could I have been so stupid yet again to think that maybe this month I will be pregnant and AF won’t show. Why oh why do I constantly ride this rollercoaster and believe “this” month it’ll happen?? You’d think by now I’d have learned my lesson but oh no I keep coming back for more!

I’m going to make that appointment with my GP for next week and see if she can help refer me for further tests re my luteal phase. I’m 9 DPO today and think my period will either come today or tomorrow morning so my LP isn’t long at all. If she even tries to fob me off I may committ murder… I’m a donkey on the edge!!! ;o)

Let the injections begin!

25 09 2009

So the start of human pin cushion begins…

I got all the paraphernalia ready last night. I set the syringe, 2 needles, vial of Buserelin and an alcohol swab on my bedside table last night so they were ready to go this morning. Not sure if that was a good idea though as everytime I woke up that was the first thing I saw.

I did think I’d have been more excited than I was but I kept putting the snooze button on my alarm, I was in no rush to get out of bed. I eventually got up at 8.00am and decided I’d take a shower before hand, to make sure I was fully awake!

DH was hanging around just in case I couldn’t do it and kept saying “have you done it yet?”. It took longer to get the syringe ready, I even had an attack of amnesia…I started questioning myself over how many mls I was to have in the syring. I talked myself down and knew it was only 0.5ml so that’s what I went with (I’m now sitting here thinking “did I read the measurements correct on the side of the syringe???”. Deary me, it’s gonna be a long 4 weeks! :o)

I took a photo of the syringe complete with the small needle used for the injection, as you can see, the overall length is 10cm but the needle is only about 1.25cm (I’ll double check tomorrow). I stuck the whole needle in, then got a bit of a fright and pulled it out again (it went in to my skin really easily) so I then had to stick it back in.

Buserelin syringe

Buserelin syringe

The sorest part was pushing the liquid in, it was just as tough as the test run I did with the pad at the clinic. I think it was the pressure of the actual syringe pushing against my skin that was the sorest thing. The needle is so fine you can’t even feel it going in.

I was left with a red mark but this was probably caused by me pinching my skin. I did the inection sitting on the side of my bed and now wonder if I’ve done it too low! If I’d have been standing it would have been further up my tummy, much closer to my belly button… oh well, you live and learn!! :o)

Injection site

Injection site

4 hours later and I  can’t even find the spot so it’s good to know the redness doesn’t last.

I’m hoping that I’ll start to get the hang of it and it’ll not take so long to do in the future.

And DH was a bit huffed that he didn’t get to “stab” me! But I’m glad I was able to do it myself :o)

I’ve been listening to my IVF Companion CD and I do think it has helped as I wasn’t stressed. I didn’t have to get myself into a calm state or anything and the CD suggests that the injection site will be more tingly than sore…I’ll keep this part in mind for 2moro.

If all goes to plan I’ve worked out that I’ll need 22 injections in total:

  • 7 days of Buserelin
  • 7 days of Buserelin + GONAL-f, then
  • 1 hCG shot!

So only 21 more to go!

Condoms?!? But I’m trying to get pregnant!!

18 09 2009

How weird is it to use condoms when making love to your husband and you are trying for a baby!!

And to be on BCP’s too… I feel like I want to rebel and say stop all this, all I need to do is make love to my DH!!!

But we know this hasn’t worked for over 2 years so I’m sure we’ll be able to stick it out for another 4 or so weeks…deep sigh! :o)

My little bag of drugs!

16 09 2009

Here is the little case of drugs I got to take home when I was last at the clinic:

Case containing drugs etc.

Case containing drugs etc.

These are the contents of the case:

Case contents

Case contents

  • Sharps box
  • 2 x 5.5ml vials of Suprecur 1mg/ml Injection Buserelin acetate
  • 19 x syringes
  • 19 x big needles
  • 19 x small needles
  • loads of alcohol swabs

The vial of Buserelin doesn’t have to be stored in the fridge once it’s opened which I was a wee bit surprised about. Also the one vial is used many many times, it’s got a rubber film over it like a lid and you just put the needle through it to draw the liquid out.

The BIG needles are used to draw the liquid from the vial in to the syringe…thank God, I nearly died when I saw it for the first time, thought I was going to have to inject myself with it!

The smaller needles are used to inject the Buserelin subcutaneously (ie in the thigh or in the fat surrounding my belly… I won’t run out of places to prick in this area that’s for sure!).

I do plan on injecting myself but asked DH if he would have a problem doing it if I couldn’t… I should be worried, he seemed overly keen to get the chance to  stab me!! :-)

Bring it on… can’t wait to get started with this next phase!

There always seems to be something to wait on… I feel like I’m wishing my life away one  small IVF day at a time!

Come injection day I’ll take more photo’s to let you see what it all looks like out of the wrappers!

BMI, weightloss and IVF!

15 09 2009

I can’t seem to stop thinking about how much weight I’ve put on since coming back from holiday in August and what effect it’ll have on my IVF cycle being successful.

I had hoped to be 8st 7lbs before my first clinic appointment on the 07 September but alas that wasn’t to be. I started off very well and managed to shift 3.5lbs in 2 weeks but now I’ve gained 5lbs more than what I was before I went on holiday! Go figure… I was on a cruise where the food and drink was plentiful…how can this be!! I’m kidding myself on, I know how it happened…I just don’t seem to care what I eat. It’s like “sod them all, I will have chips with everything”!!

So now I’m thinking “if only I could lose some weight before I start on the injections”. I’ve only got 10 days to lose a stone…that’s not going to happen!! So I was thinking even if I could lose some weight by then, surely I’ll feel better (I keep telling myself how I’ll feel so much better if only I were to lose half a stone!).

I’ve got out an old Scottish Slimmers “Double Boost Week” planner and I plan on sticking to that for a whole week (I’ve never managed one day on it before)… am I kidding myself???

I did read on the web that your changes of IVF being successful where increased if your BMI is under 30, luckily at the moment mine’s is only 26.7! I say ONLY but I am appalled that it is as high as this!

And to make things worse a friend of mines has told me about her cousin who “ballooned” once she started injections??

I honestly dread to think what I’m going to look like…Jabba the Hut springs to mind!!!

Jabba the Hut

Jabba the Hut

IVF Timetable

14 09 2009

I’ve just created a new page IVF Timetable and I’ve posted an image of my IVF timeline..if all goes to plan. I got the idea from the Advanced Reproductive Care Center of Irving website.

I have also copied down the information the RIE gave me, I think it could have been written better but thought I’d share anyway!