Yesterday was Test Day!

23 02 2010

According to Fertility Friend, yesterday was test day as I was 12 DPO. I usually get a visit from AF around 11 DPO but she hasn’t came to visit yet. But it’s not for the lack of trying on her part, I’m getting the same old telltale “pulling” pains.

So I did the test anyway and no surprise:    it was a BFN!

It looks like the Clomid might actually lengthen my luteal phase if nothing else.

I still haven’t ordered more OPK’s for next month, I’m going to wait until it’s definitely, without a doubt, over this month… yip I’m clinging on to that little bit of hope by my fingernails!

I have some hope only because I’ve got the cold and with that a cold sore (which I haven’t had for about 10 years).

My friend told me when she fell pregnant she went to the doc with a bad cold and instead of recommending the usual bed rest, cough medicine etc. she was asked to do a pregnancy test. To her shock it came back positive and her period wasn’t even late by this point!

And yes I have searched FF for all the charts that have BFN’s before BFP’s. Even found one girl on the net who’s pregnancy test didn’t appear positive until she was 18 DPO.

Hope does live here…but only for the briefest of moments!


Clomid update

10 02 2010

I went for an internal scan on Monday morning as the nurse thought I’d OV on Sunday, turns out I didn’t. So was asked to go back again this morning.

Last Friday she said I had 2 dominant follicles but on Monday only one had continued to grow. The nurse was happier with this as she said there’s less chance of twins (I was kinda getting used to the idea too!!) and had said if there were 3 big follies that she’d recommend abstinence or using protection to save me getting pregnant. She said it’d be a shame if I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage which is likely with triplets. However…this isn’t something I need to worry about now!

I’m just happy that I am going to OV. I normally do anyway but it just seemed to be dragging out and I was starting to worry that Clomid would have some strange effect on me and I’d not OV or something. If there is nothing to worry about, I’ll find something! I’ve been taking OPK’s since over a week ago and I got a very very faint positive this morning. I don’t usually test in the morning as I’ve read that you OV in the afternoon but wanted to find out before my scan appt this morning. So I’ll test again tonight when I get in from work in the hope that it’ll be truly positive! :o)

So no more scans, I’ve to go back next week to get blood taken to test my progesterone levels. She said over 20 is good and under 20 is not good, she did call it something but I can’t remember.

My measurements for today were:

Lining = 9.7mm

Follicle = 19.1mm

My uterine lining only measured 9.0mm and one follicle measured at 21.0mm at the last scan I had before ER when going through IVF. So Clomid looks like it’s doing the job and isn’t that much different from the Gonal-f, although I did get more follicles with the Gonal-f. But still, I think it’s really good (give me a fortnight and we’ll see HOW good!!).

I really do think the acupuncture has helped too. I was there last night and Pascal told me that of all the 12 channels only my liver channel is difficient, it always is. But he said my kidney channel was looking good and this is the one which relates to the reproductive system. I’ve also read that acupuncture helps thicken the lining of the womb and helps reduce the side effects of Clomid, this is  the article I found: How Traditional Chinese Medicine (Acupuncture) Enhances Fertility.

I did okay…

4 02 2010

Sadly my BIL’s mother died a week ago and her funeral was a few days ago. You may remember me getting a call about her on the day I had my ER.

As my nephew won’t stay with anyone apart from his Mum (my sister) at the moment, I looked after him whilst the rest of the family went to the funeral service (in the hope he’d not get too upset). After the service there was a gathering for tea/sandwiches and I took my nephew along, it really helped my BIL I think.

However my pregnant cousin whom I wrote about at Christmas time (Is she?) was there and it was the first time since she’d told everyone she was pregnant that I’ve seen her.

After a while she came over to me and we talked about her pregnancy, she didn’t push it in my face in any way. It was other people around us who were asking her questions and slowly I was able to ask a few of my own, ie any morning sickness, cravings etc. And I was okay! I thought I’d burst into tears as soon as I saw her but I didn’t. I did have a lump in my throat but managed to ged rid of it with coffee and cake :o)

Then I saw her again last night, at her house. She took me to the side and said how unfair it was that she got pregnant after only 3 months. She told me she’d not really even had a proper period since stopping BCP’s and had no idea where her cycle was to even try and take OPK’s a pregnant friend had given her. To her surprise when her period didn’t come the 3rd month she did a HPT, again supplied by her friend, and it was positive.

I told her that I am so glad she didn’t have to go through any of the stuff I’ve been through and I truly mean it. IF is def something you’d not wish on anyone (well there might be one person but that’s another story!!).

To be honest I’m still in shock about her news… still after all these weeks, still after seeing her scan photo’s etc. I just can’t believe she’s pregnant, maybe when her bump starts to show reality will hit me. I can’t imagine her or her DH with a baby, their baby. Or my aunty and uncle with their very first grandchild, why???

Why is her pregnancy taking so long to sink in to my brain??

My Mum thinks it’s because we are so close… I’ll explain:

  • My Mum and my cousin’s Mum are sisters
  • My Dad and my cousin’s Dad are brothers
  • So 2 sisters married 2 brothers.

So I suppose she is like my sister but I can’t imagine I’d feel like this if my sister got pregnant again. I actually keep wondering when her and my BIL will plan their next kid, not with dread but with excitement… I am starting to get worried that I may need psychiatric help!! :o)

And in other news… I def feel like OV is imminent! I’ve got OV pains, my cerix is HOS and I’ve got fertile CM. I’ve got my scan appt tomorrow morning to see how my follies are doing and I’m even thinking about telling DH that I’ve been told we must have sex everday, without fail, for 7 days! I’m sure I’ll not be told this but I want to cover all bases.

Sometimes, no let me change that to all the time, I feel like the responsibility of timing sex and getting me pregnant is MY responsibility, just mine’s. DH doesn’t have a very high sex drive, although he’d say otherwise, but I wish he’d instigate things in that department more often in an attempt to get me pregnant. He’s told friends that he’s desperate to be a Dad again but I don’t feel like he’s putting in any of the leg work!!! He doesn’t ask if I’m OV, he never asks when AF is due, never asks anything about my cycle or our attempts to get pregnant, nothing! I feel quite jealous when I read other blogs and see other DH’s embarking on the journey with their wives/partners, when it does look like they are on a joint endeavour to have a baby!

However, I do love DH and know he’ll be a great Dad to any children we may have but I can feel a “talk” coming on!!!

Any and all suggestions on how to get him onboard are very welcome.

Subfertility clinic

21 01 2010

I was back at the Fertility clinic yesterday to meet with the consultant there, it was the first time I’d met him.

He asked me what he could do for us and I said that I’d like to find out, if possible, why our first cycle of IVF didn’t work. He asked if our IVF consultant had given us any indications, when I said no, he said well it’s just unfortunate they you were in the 70% of people who are unsuccessful with IVF.

I asked if he could check whether I had a short luteal phase and he said it’s very unlikely (why do they always say that, surely someone has got to test positive to give us this rare percentage!). Anyway, I showed him a list of my cycles with the cycle length, ovulation date and luteal phase length. All he said is “Well if you have a cycle length of 31 days I’d expect you to ovulate sooner than day 21”!! He asked how I’d come to know when I OV’d and when I told him I’d been using OPK’s he just said that the problem wasn’t with me but with the OPK’s as these aren’t reliable!!!! I’m more angry typing this out than I was yesterday, I always feel inferior when meeting with consultants, I felt like I shouldn’t question him. I’m a grown woman for gods sake…aarrgghhh!!! But I should have told him that previously I’d also taken my BBT and my temps corresponded with the OPK’s.

When I told him that even though I was taking progesterone during my IVF cycle that my period arrived 2 days before the beta test he just shrugged and said he didn’t know why, the IVF consultant would be able to tell me more about this! (Which he wasn’t able to do).

I told him that I hadn’t received a positive OPK this month so he offered to give me a scan to find out. So it was back to meeting an old friend…the vagicam!! :o)

He reckoned I had OV’d but couldn’t tell me when, he said he could see the corpus luteum, as he could see the fluid? Maybe he was right about the OPK’s this month?

He said that I didn’t have any symptoms of endometriosis so wouldn’t do a laparoscopy as endometriosis would have shown up before when I was getting all the scans going through the IVF.

The only thing he said he could recommend where Clomiphene tablets. I wasn’t sure what they were, all I knew was it sounded like Clomid so jumped at the chance to try them. Turns out Clomiphene is Clomid. So I’ve got a prescription for 6 months worth of Clomid to try. He said that in a recent study of Scottish hospitals they had found that Clomid didn’t offer any benefit for unexplained infertility until couples had been trying for 3 years. He said as we were approaching the 3 years he thought it was worth a try. He also recommended that we postpone the IVF cycle we’re due to start in March. He said that I’m still young yet!! I feel pretty old at 34 considering that I’ll be 35 in a few months and the quality of eggs are meant to decrease after this age.

I haven’t contacted the IVF clinic to postpone the IVF yet, I’m not mentally/emotionally able to do that just yet. I still feel like I’d be giving away my chance to get pregnant, even though it’ll only be postponed for 6 months whilst I try Clomid. And considering a prescription only costs £4.00 and IVF costs nearly £4,000 it’s well worth trying for the amount of money we’ll save. But I’ll have turned 35 by the second try at IVF by then…. oh I don’t know how I feel apart from hopeful with the Clomid but disappointed at not doing the IVF.

I’ve read a lot about Clomid and the information leaflet the doc gave me yesterday says Clomid has a 58% success rate, crazy when IVF only has a 30% success rate! Why wasn’t I given this option first???? But I am keeping everything crossed, well maybe not everything ;o)


6 12 2009

It feels like ages since I last updated, my apologies. I even feel like I’ve done myself no favours in getting those recurring thoughts “down on paper”.

Lots of things have been happening!!

I went to see my GP last Monday (30 Nov) to ask if I she could refer me to get further tests done following the unsuccessful IVF and unexplained infertility. Of all the GP’s in our practice I chose the only GP with DRCOG after her name. Apparently it means she’s got some “Obstetrics and Gynaecology” qualification so I thought she’d be able to answer lots of my questions… but of course I was wrong!

I told her that I’ve been charting my cycle for 24 months and it looks like my Luteal Phase is on the short side. She said that it wasn’t her area of expertise!! I asked if she could refer me to someone who would know and be able to do further tests and even said I’d be willing to pay for any tests. She said as I wasn’t at the top of the NHS list (forgot to mention I’m not eligible to even be on the list until July 2010) that she’ll see what tests we could get done on the NHS. She is going to write to the sub-fertility clinic I first went to and ask them if they’ll do more tests and if they’ll not entertain me, she’s going to write to the clinic where I got my IVF. To be honest I don’t even know what tests she’s going to ask them to do.

She told me that the Consultant at the RIE who gave me the post IVF consult had written to her and said he’d be willing to do a laparoscopy only if I experienced mid-cycle bleeding. I told the GP that this guy had said that he might get the incision in the wrong place, she said this is extremely unlikely as it doesn’t matter if there is endometriosis on the right or left ovary as they go in in the centre and are still able to see both ovaries! Who knows but this guy is meant to be the expert!!

So it’s back to a waiting game to see if someone will do some more tests. I just want as much as possible investigated before I embark on another IVF cycle. A girl I know has had 2 failed IVF attempts and now that she’s considering her 3rd the clinic offered to test the fluid in her fallopian tubes. Apparently if this fluid is toxic it can harm an embryo in the uterus. Why do they wait until you have been through the emotional and financial trauma of a failed cycle before doing these tests, why not do everything possible before the IVF to give women the best possible chance of the IVF working? Luckily her test results have came back clear.

Her clinic (Dundee) have also told her about a blood test they can do which will give an indication of which eggs to use for fertilisation. This has never been mentioned to me. She was told that Glasgow are the only clinic offering it just now but Dundee hope to be able to do it in the near future. I’m sure she said it was only a couple of hundred pounds extra. There is another test they can do on eggs but I’m sure this is a couple of thousand pounds (I read it in a newspaper a few months ago). Again, this hasn’t been offered either!

I’ve got more to post but need to go, family day out in Edinburgh to see the Christmas lights and German market! :o)

CD 21!!

17 11 2009

Since my IVF post mortem I have been on a mission (that’s what it feels like) to prove that doctor wrong!!

I have been peeing on OPK sticks since 04 November, CD10 and I only got a positive result on Sunday 15 November, CD 21!!

I bloody knew it, why won’t these pompous know it alls listen to me, they just treat me like an ignorant, stupid woman… I’m sick of it!!

So my plan is to go see my GP, I’ve never been to this GP with fertility issues before as I moved house. Well lets just say this new GP will NOT get the chance to fob me off! :o)

I’m going to try and get her to do some tests about my luteal phase length too… fingers crossed! Mind you I’ll need to wait until my period comes to be armed with even more uptodate data (I’ve got 24 months worth but this still isn’t enough for these people)!! Deep sigh…

I’ve been charting this on Fertility Friend and according to the site I ovulated on CD22… imagine if I was using this as birth control (well that’s what it feels like sometimes) but deary me I’d be in bother!! If I wasn’t an infertily myrtle ;o)

Access Diagnostics 10% Discount

12 11 2009

I received this discount offer because I’ve recently bought 40 OPK’s… yip 40!!! :o)

I so want to prove the Dr’s wrong and so far I am, I’m on CD 17 and have not OV’d yet according to the OPK’s! So there!! :-p 2 fingers up to them who say “of course you ovulate around CD 14” (hey, we’re not all the same you know!) :o)

Sorry I should have posted it sooner:

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Coupon valid from now until mid-night on Thursday 13th November 2009. One coupon per order.

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