I did okay…

4 02 2010

Sadly my BIL’s mother died a week ago and her funeral was a few days ago. You may remember me getting a call about her on the day I had my ER.

As my nephew won’t stay with anyone apart from his Mum (my sister) at the moment, I looked after him whilst the rest of the family went to the funeral service (in the hope he’d not get too upset). After the service there was a gathering for tea/sandwiches and I took my nephew along, it really helped my BIL I think.

However my pregnant cousin whom I wrote about at Christmas time (Is she?) was there and it was the first time since she’d told everyone she was pregnant that I’ve seen her.

After a while she came over to me and we talked about her pregnancy, she didn’t push it in my face in any way. It was other people around us who were asking her questions and slowly I was able to ask a few of my own, ie any morning sickness, cravings etc. And I was okay! I thought I’d burst into tears as soon as I saw her but I didn’t. I did have a lump in my throat but managed to ged rid of it with coffee and cake :o)

Then I saw her again last night, at her house. She took me to the side and said how unfair it was that she got pregnant after only 3 months. She told me she’d not really even had a proper period since stopping BCP’s and had no idea where her cycle was to even try and take OPK’s a pregnant friend had given her. To her surprise when her period didn’t come the 3rd month she did a HPT, again supplied by her friend, and it was positive.

I told her that I am so glad she didn’t have to go through any of the stuff I’ve been through and I truly mean it. IF is def something you’d not wish on anyone (well there might be one person but that’s another story!!).

To be honest I’m still in shock about her news… still after all these weeks, still after seeing her scan photo’s etc. I just can’t believe she’s pregnant, maybe when her bump starts to show reality will hit me. I can’t imagine her or her DH with a baby, their baby. Or my aunty and uncle with their very first grandchild, why???

Why is her pregnancy taking so long to sink in to my brain??

My Mum thinks it’s because we are so close… I’ll explain:

  • My Mum and my cousin’s Mum are sisters
  • My Dad and my cousin’s Dad are brothers
  • So 2 sisters married 2 brothers.

So I suppose she is like my sister but I can’t imagine I’d feel like this if my sister got pregnant again. I actually keep wondering when her and my BIL will plan their next kid, not with dread but with excitement… I am starting to get worried that I may need psychiatric help!! :o)

And in other news… I def feel like OV is imminent! I’ve got OV pains, my cerix is HOS and I’ve got fertile CM. I’ve got my scan appt tomorrow morning to see how my follies are doing and I’m even thinking about telling DH that I’ve been told we must have sex everday, without fail, for 7 days! I’m sure I’ll not be told this but I want to cover all bases.

Sometimes, no let me change that to all the time, I feel like the responsibility of timing sex and getting me pregnant is MY responsibility, just mine’s. DH doesn’t have a very high sex drive, although he’d say otherwise, but I wish he’d instigate things in that department more often in an attempt to get me pregnant. He’s told friends that he’s desperate to be a Dad again but I don’t feel like he’s putting in any of the leg work!!! He doesn’t ask if I’m OV, he never asks when AF is due, never asks anything about my cycle or our attempts to get pregnant, nothing! I feel quite jealous when I read other blogs and see other DH’s embarking on the journey with their wives/partners, when it does look like they are on a joint endeavour to have a baby!

However, I do love DH and know he’ll be a great Dad to any children we may have but I can feel a “talk” coming on!!!

Any and all suggestions on how to get him onboard are very welcome.



25 09 2009

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not but I’ve just been to the loo and AF has arrived!!

I did think she’d make an appearance soon but I only took my last BCP yesterday morning and my first Buserelin injection 4 hours ago!

I’m just surprised she’s came so soon I suppose… oh well, there goes my plans for the weekend ;o)

Last Pill

24 09 2009

I took my last BCP this morning and felt quite exited! This means my Buserelin injections start 2moro and means I’m that one step closer to a BFP!!

DH is hoping I won’t be able to inject myself, so he can do it … should I be worried?!? :o)

Until 2moro…

BCP and moody!

19 09 2009

I must say I am surprised at how I feel being back on the pill.

I was on the pill for 16 years before I decided I wanted to start a family. The BCP I’m on this time is called Microgynon 30ED and I was on Microgynon before (I don’t know how different they are but the packet looks different).

I feel like I’m about to start my period at any minute, my (.)(.) are sore and I’m a moody, short tempered so and so!

I do feel like I’m getting OV pains too which is weird!

I’m starting to worry about the effect Buserelin will have on me too as a few ladies on this forum (October 09 IVF”ers) have been moody with Lupron.

Oh well, there’s nothing else for it so I’ll just have to “suck it and see” :o)

Condoms?!? But I’m trying to get pregnant!!

18 09 2009

How weird is it to use condoms when making love to your husband and you are trying for a baby!!

And to be on BCP’s too… I feel like I want to rebel and say stop all this, all I need to do is make love to my DH!!!

But we know this hasn’t worked for over 2 years so I’m sure we’ll be able to stick it out for another 4 or so weeks…deep sigh! :o)

Moody and crabbit!

12 09 2009

I really didn’t think being back on the pill would affect my moods, thought that would come when I started on the injections but according to my DH I am one short-tempered, crabbit so and so!! I don’t know why I am being like this….so I’m gonna blame the pill, mind you it makes no difference to DH what’s causing it but he’s away to bed in the huff!

How we going to survive the serious meds???

Back on the “Pill” :-)

8 09 2009

Well yesterday was the start of my IVF treatment. My sister came with me as DH couldn’t get time off work. She is also my backup plan incase neither me nor DH can do the injections!!

From the start…I was taken in to an examination room where I was given a TVUS. Not the most pleasant with AF still hanging around! Anyhow, the doc showed me my uterus and my cervix then when on to count the follicles which she read out to the nurse and she wrote them down. The doc was saying to me, there’s 1, 2, 3, 4…I honestly only saw dark shapes and had no idea…luckily it’s not up to me to work these things out!! But she seemed to know what she was doing :-) Sounded like there are 4 either side…don’t know if this is average, a good thing or a bad thing or what!!!

She also noticed that I had “congestion” and asked if I had painful periods. This past weekend has been thee worst period pains I’ve ever experienced. Was saying to DH that if this works out I think it’ll need an epidural as soon as I go in to labour as it doesn’t appear I’ve got a strong pain threshold…oh no!!

Anyway, doc didn’t say whether this congestion was a good or a bad thing? She also said my cervix was open which didn’t sound too good to me because it surely shouldn’t be open at this time of the month? Again, don’t know if this is a good or a bad thing…think I really need to start asking more questions!

Then it was on to the mock transfer, boy did this hurt!! It felt very similar to the HSG and I was trying the whole time to relax but my body seemed to involuntarily spasm every time it hurt! However all went well. She showed me the catheter and told me come day of egg transfer my baby would be on the end of it (this really made me smile). She had no problem going through cervix which I was glad to hear because when I went for the HSG the doc doing that said she struggled a wee bit and I wondered if this was due to the laser treatment I’d received for abnormal cells.

So the doc and the nurse between them, one using the catheter and the other the ultrasound wand on my tummy showed me the catheter on the screen inside my uterus so got the green light and go ahead to start the IVF! :-)

After I got dressed I was showed in to another room with desk and chairs to wait on another nurse to explain everthing to me.

She was lovely, in fact they all are there (although the receptionist doesn’t seem too keen on smiling). The nurse came in with a small bag and explained to me using a calendar what was going to happen, starting off with taking the contraceptive pill. It’s Microgynon 30ED and I’ve to take one per day until Thursday 24 September 2009.

The next day, the 25th, I’ve to start with the injections! She showed me what to do and let me have a go. She took out a vial with the Buserelin in it, a syring and 2 needles (a big one and a smaller one). The big one just screws on to the syringe and this one is used to draw the liquid (I’ve to take 0.5mls). Once the liquid is inside the syringe I’ve to take off the larger needle and put the smaller one on, this is the one I’ll inject myself with. She gave me a rubber pad thing and I stabbed the needle in and squeezed the plunger down. It didn’t go down as fast as I thought and you do need to use some pressure.

After this she showed me a calendar (which was strange as it had the start of the week being a Thursday!) and from the calendar told me when everthing will be happening. It went something like this:

Contraceptive Pill:     04/09 – 24/09

Buserelin injections:  25/09 – 01/10

Scan to see if ovaries are quiet, if so, start on stimulating injections 01/10 (but I’ve also still to take the Buserelin which I thought sounded weird)

If everything goes to plan I should expect egg retrieval from the 08/10 onwards and embryo transfer soon after.

Pregnancy test last week in October.

This is if all things go to plan, the hard part is not knowing how my body will react to the drugs and if it’ll play ball and stick to this schedule (hope it does).

My parents, sister, brother-in-law and nephew will be away on holiday when the ER and ET is due to happen and my Mum did sound a bit disappointed when I told her this but I’m glad she’ll be here when I find out the results the last week in October….I’m going to make a calendar and count down the days!