I did okay…

4 02 2010

Sadly my BIL’s mother died a week ago and her funeral was a few days ago. You may remember me getting a call about her on the day I had my ER.

As my nephew won’t stay with anyone apart from his Mum (my sister) at the moment, I looked after him whilst the rest of the family went to the funeral service (in the hope he’d not get too upset). After the service there was a gathering for tea/sandwiches and I took my nephew along, it really helped my BIL I think.

However my pregnant cousin whom I wrote about at Christmas time (Is she?) was there and it was the first time since she’d told everyone she was pregnant that I’ve seen her.

After a while she came over to me and we talked about her pregnancy, she didn’t push it in my face in any way. It was other people around us who were asking her questions and slowly I was able to ask a few of my own, ie any morning sickness, cravings etc. And I was okay! I thought I’d burst into tears as soon as I saw her but I didn’t. I did have a lump in my throat but managed to ged rid of it with coffee and cake :o)

Then I saw her again last night, at her house. She took me to the side and said how unfair it was that she got pregnant after only 3 months. She told me she’d not really even had a proper period since stopping BCP’s and had no idea where her cycle was to even try and take OPK’s a pregnant friend had given her. To her surprise when her period didn’t come the 3rd month she did a HPT, again supplied by her friend, and it was positive.

I told her that I am so glad she didn’t have to go through any of the stuff I’ve been through and I truly mean it. IF is def something you’d not wish on anyone (well there might be one person but that’s another story!!).

To be honest I’m still in shock about her news… still after all these weeks, still after seeing her scan photo’s etc. I just can’t believe she’s pregnant, maybe when her bump starts to show reality will hit me. I can’t imagine her or her DH with a baby, their baby. Or my aunty and uncle with their very first grandchild, why???

Why is her pregnancy taking so long to sink in to my brain??

My Mum thinks it’s because we are so close… I’ll explain:

  • My Mum and my cousin’s Mum are sisters
  • My Dad and my cousin’s Dad are brothers
  • So 2 sisters married 2 brothers.

So I suppose she is like my sister but I can’t imagine I’d feel like this if my sister got pregnant again. I actually keep wondering when her and my BIL will plan their next kid, not with dread but with excitement… I am starting to get worried that I may need psychiatric help!! :o)

And in other news… I def feel like OV is imminent! I’ve got OV pains, my cerix is HOS and I’ve got fertile CM. I’ve got my scan appt tomorrow morning to see how my follies are doing and I’m even thinking about telling DH that I’ve been told we must have sex everday, without fail, for 7 days! I’m sure I’ll not be told this but I want to cover all bases.

Sometimes, no let me change that to all the time, I feel like the responsibility of timing sex and getting me pregnant is MY responsibility, just mine’s. DH doesn’t have a very high sex drive, although he’d say otherwise, but I wish he’d instigate things in that department more often in an attempt to get me pregnant. He’s told friends that he’s desperate to be a Dad again but I don’t feel like he’s putting in any of the leg work!!! He doesn’t ask if I’m OV, he never asks when AF is due, never asks anything about my cycle or our attempts to get pregnant, nothing! I feel quite jealous when I read other blogs and see other DH’s embarking on the journey with their wives/partners, when it does look like they are on a joint endeavour to have a baby!

However, I do love DH and know he’ll be a great Dad to any children we may have but I can feel a “talk” coming on!!!

Any and all suggestions on how to get him onboard are very welcome.

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