Well I survived!!
But that’s just how I’m feeling!
I managed to not see either of my pregnant cousins over the festive season. Luckily we were babysitting my nephew on new years night and that was my excuse to not go visiting!
It was great and one of the best excuses I could have had!
My resolution this year, as it seems to be every year, is to lose weight! I’m going to try and lose 1 stone before April when I’m due to go back for IVF #2. As I’ve tried everything else apart from being skinny, to get pregnant, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.
A girl at work today asked me what my new years resolution was, she joked “to have a baby?”!! She doesn’t know that’s the only resolution that really matters and I laughed and said no, it’s to lose weight so I don’t look pregnant when I’m not! Hope I threw her off the scent :o)
Back at acupuncture tonight which I’m really looking forward to. I’ve only missed one week due to the holidays and I really feel it! When I was last there I was given a back rub with some Chinese oils and it was great! I told Pascal that my mind was racing with thoughts of my cousin being pregnant and he really did help me relax and let go of the overwhelming thoughts for a day or two but they’re back again.. aarrgghhh!
I can’t believe how much this is affecting me. Maybe I should just confront my fear and go see her? Mind you, she won’t tell me that she’s pregnant because I think she’s waiting til she’s been for her 12 scan before she tells anyone. But I can go and visit her Mum, we usually pop in to her house once a fortnight but we’ve not been for ages, I’m dreading it but feel so stupid too!!! God give me strength…
My appointment for the hospital came in during the holidays, I’m back at the sub-fertility clinic for more tests on the 20th. I don’t know what tests they’ll do (or if they’ll even agree to do any) and this is probably only a consultation appt but I’m glad something’s happening again.
Who knows girls, maybe 2010 will be our year! :o)