Is she?

19 12 2009

I went to see my wee cousin D who’s a beautician this morning to have some bits and bobs done for our Christmas night out tonight.

When she told me she wouldn’t be drinking I instantly thought she must be pregnant and that thought hasn’t left my mind all day, it’s all I can think about!!

She’s married, got her own business, is very settled and one of my closest relatives. I would be so happy for her if she was because she has mentioned to me in the past that she wants a family but I can’t help feeling sad. I feel really low and struggling to get back the excitement I’ve felt for weeks about our night out tonight.

Why am I torturing myself? I mean she might not be drinking because she wants to stick to her diet?? Why would she lie…

…she probably doesn’t want to tell me because she knows what I’ve been through/going through!!

I’m screaming and throwing a tantrum in my head right now and poor DH sits opposite me totally oblivious to how I feel. Surely I can’t tell him, what is there to tell him? That my cousin isn’t drinking tonight because she wants to stick to her diet… I really honestly feel crazy :-s

I did find out a couple of days ago that another cousin IS pregnant. She’s only 21 ( if she is that), lives with her boyfriend’s mother, isn’t working, is very overweight, parties hard ie drink and drugs and she’s due in August!!

Is there any justice??




One response

10 03 2010
I’m still pregnant! « A Pregnant Infertile

[…] it’s like to be kept in the dark when you suspect someone is pregnant, see my post “Is She?” in my old blog. It’s horrible and you feel alienated and that’s why I feel so […]

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