What a week…

25 11 2009

So I’ve got my good underwear on again… it’s time to see Pascal the Acupuncturist tonight!! I must say I feel like I need to see him, it’s been a long week and I’m looking forward to relaxing and chilling out for a bit!

My boss’ daughter had a wee boy the other day and I was invited to look at the photo’s etc. My boss when telling me how chuffed he is said “I can’t describe it, you’ll not know what it feels like until it happens to you”. My eyes were stinging with tears trying to break out and my throat felt like it’d been clamped shut. I got a dull stabbing pain in my chest and could only nod at him in agreement. I really could have screamed “No shit Einstein! You know I’m trying to experience that for myself, why oh f*cking why would you say such a thing to me you insensitive twat”!

Needles to say I wasn’t in too great a mood after that, coupled with the fact that AF is imminent and I’ve got PMS from hell!

You know I get so angry with myself month after month. I mean how could I have been so stupid yet again to think that maybe this month I will be pregnant and AF won’t show. Why oh why do I constantly ride this rollercoaster and believe “this” month it’ll happen?? You’d think by now I’d have learned my lesson but oh no I keep coming back for more!

I’m going to make that appointment with my GP for next week and see if she can help refer me for further tests re my luteal phase. I’m 9 DPO today and think my period will either come today or tomorrow morning so my LP isn’t long at all. If she even tries to fob me off I may committ murder… I’m a donkey on the edge!!! ;o)


Show and Tell: From a 1st timmer

18 11 2009

My friend sent me this picture of her daughter:

Aren’t some mothers just cruel!! LOL

Yes ladies this is what we can look forward to, laughing at our kids expense!! :o)

PS This is not her normal dummy/soother you’ll be glad to know!

See what others are showing this week:  Show and Tell

CD 21!!

17 11 2009

Since my IVF post mortem I have been on a mission (that’s what it feels like) to prove that doctor wrong!!

I have been peeing on OPK sticks since 04 November, CD10 and I only got a positive result on Sunday 15 November, CD 21!!

I bloody knew it, why won’t these pompous know it alls listen to me, they just treat me like an ignorant, stupid woman… I’m sick of it!!

So my plan is to go see my GP, I’ve never been to this GP with fertility issues before as I moved house. Well lets just say this new GP will NOT get the chance to fob me off! :o)

I’m going to try and get her to do some tests about my luteal phase length too… fingers crossed! Mind you I’ll need to wait until my period comes to be armed with even more uptodate data (I’ve got 24 months worth but this still isn’t enough for these people)!! Deep sigh…

I’ve been charting this on Fertility Friend and according to the site I ovulated on CD22… imagine if I was using this as birth control (well that’s what it feels like sometimes) but deary me I’d be in bother!! If I wasn’t an infertily myrtle ;o)

I’m wood!

13 11 2009

I had my second appointment with Pascal the acupuncturist on Tuesday night and boy did I learn a lot!

Before I tell you all about it, I think he looks a little like the Scottish actor Gray O’Brien :o)

Handsome or what?

It’s no real hardship!! :o)


Apparently in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) everyone has a constitution;  metal, wood, water, fire or earth. Pascal thinks I’m a wood person and having read more about it I tend to agree. I found this site quite good.

He also says my Liver Qi is stagnant/flat. He found this by only taking my pulse too! He said that at CD16 (which I was on Tues) it shouldn’t have been for that stage of my cycle. I’ve found this website which says the Liver Qi plays an important role in a womans menstrual cycle.

He also reckons my fertility problems are emotional ones. He couldn’t find anything that would suggest it’s an anatomical issue. Again I agree, that’s why I listened to hypnosis CD’s and under took EFT classes (which I’m thinking I’ll need to start doing again).

He said that if there are things that bother me or if someone annoys me I should let them know (in a non-confrontational way) as this will help me. He reckons me bottling things up are affecting my health.

When I came out I felt like a weight had been lifted, he seemed to know me. And best of all… he can FIX me (fingers crossed)!!

When I asked him how long I should see him, he said that he’d seen good results after 2 months. I thought asking him to sign a contract saying I’d be pregnant in 2 months might be going too far… tempting though!! :o)

Looking forward to my next appointment on the 18th.

PS I haven’t told DH any of this as he thinks I’m crazy as it is for even going to see an acupuncturist, so it’s our secret! ;o)

Access Diagnostics 10% Discount

12 11 2009

I received this discount offer because I’ve recently bought 40 OPK’s… yip 40!!! :o)

I so want to prove the Dr’s wrong and so far I am, I’m on CD 17 and have not OV’d yet according to the OPK’s! So there!! :-p 2 fingers up to them who say “of course you ovulate around CD 14” (hey, we’re not all the same you know!) :o)

Sorry I should have posted it sooner:

Use online coupon code AD10 before mid-night on Thursday 13 November 2009 to receive a 10% discount on our site shown below when spending over £5.00.


Coupon valid from now until mid-night on Thursday 13th November 2009. One coupon per order.

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CHAS and the pregnant lady!

9 11 2009

We were at a fundraising event on Saturday night for CHAS (Children’s Hospice Association Scotland) organised by my friend, for a little girl named Sara Penman (www.sarapenman.co.uk).  Sara has a been diagnosed with Joubert Syndrome.

I am pleased to say they raised £20,000 so a big well done to all involved!

And of all the tables the only pregnant lady (well the only obviously pregnant lady) sat was beside us at the end of our table!! Was that just bad luck on our part? Is it a sign? Good/bad?? Who knows but my sister (who was with us) also commented on it!

CHAS night out

The way I looked at it, maybe she herself has gotten pregnant after many years of infertility, maybe she had only got pregnant after having gone through IVF? We’ll never know as we didn’t speak but ho hum, there goes someone else on the lucky train!

And as my sister said… at least you can get drunk… and that’s exactly what I did!! And had a thoroughly great night!! :o)

Obviously in the weeks leading up to the night out my friend was saying “oh you might not be able to drink that night, you could be pregnant!”. But again that’s another marker been and gone, it’s on to the next one…


5 11 2009

I went to see an acupuncturist last night, one who specialises in fertility who was recommended by “A” who recently got a BFP after IVF #1.

Having tried acupuncture about 2 years ago for the exact same thing I thought I knew what to expect but to be honest this was different! For a start there was no painful muscle spasms due to the needles being connected to what looked like a car battery charger!!

Because I thought I knew what to expect and where I expected the needles to be placed, lets just say I should’ve worn my good underwear!

After asking me questions about my general health, hobbies, work etc he asked what I thought were interesting questions:

  • do you dream?
  • do you have recurrent dreams?
  • how would your friends describe you (this was the most difficult question to answer)
  • do you have dry skin/eyes/mouth?
  • do you pespire a lot?
  • do you get angry often?
  • and when I told him I’d suffered from chlamydia, he asked “what’s that?” Didn’t I feel like the town wh@re explaining that it’s an STD!!! I quickly dismissed telling him that I was in a long term relationship when diagnosed and I didn’t sleep around, had only had so many sexual partners, etc etc… he really didn’t need to know all that stuff!! I think he probably has heard of this before but as he’s French it was maybe the first time he’s heard the word in English… I’m just trying to make myself feel better after knowing I’m his first ever STD patient!!! Oh joy!! Yet another thing to thank IF for!

So we got started on the acupuncture…

He asked me to get undressed down to my underwear and lie on the table, cover myself then he’d be back. I did have a brief “OMG what if this isn’t kosha” moment but got underdressed anyway! :o)

He then took my wrists, one at a time, and I thought he was taking my pulse but he probably wasn’t, he just seemed to be listening/concentrating?

He then pressed various points on my body and asked me if any were tender. My collar bone, breast bone, ribs, stomach and uterus area. The only thing I felt was a really strange tickly feeling when he did the one just under my rib on the right. I don’t know what this told him but I should’ve asked .

He then asked me to turn over, to lie face down. He asked if he could undo my bra strap and this is when I had my first thought about whether it was decent underwear I had one! Then he inserted the needles up and down my spine, not sure how many. He then left the room and I lay there for about 10 mins. I was trying to relax but my head was full of thoughts as always and the cleaners were just outside the door hoovering the corridor! I was worried they’d open the door and come in at any time. The cover had been pulled down to my hips and my bra was still on at the front but I really didn’t want them to catch a glimpse of me lying there like a puddock!

So he came back in and got me to turn over again, after he’d fastened my bra back up (it was strange, not creepy in any way, but weird).

He then put the needles this time on both wrists, both feet and he put 3 along my knicker line.. again I was thinking “why did I have to wear these old comfy knickers?”. The cover was covering my pants but even if he saw the elastic band at the top of them that was bad enough! Again he left the room for about 10 mins and turned the ceiling lights off and left a lamp on.

He did ask if I felt okay about everything, ie the covers being lowered etc and I told him in a bambling sort of way that having gone through IVF I had been through much worse and was past the point of caring! He did say that he hoped I would leave with my dignity in tact after visiting him… and of course I did. I then went on to tell him how unfair it was that women have to go through so much with IVF whereas men don’t have to do that much!! Why oh why can’t I just shut up at times!! :-s

He did ask how my experience differed from my last acupuncture experience and when I told him that the last guy had connected the needles to electricity he was shocked, he told me that electricity is normally used to treat musculoskeletal issues, not fertility. He said that he treats fertility very gently and that the idea is to adjust the energies without them noticing! I also told him about the last guy giving me homeopathic tablets which contained very slight traces of arsenic. He laughed and said “I think he was trying to murder you!” :o) In his lovely French accent it was really funny!!

He is a lovely guy who seems to know what he’s talking about and he has a website:  www.scotland-acupuncture.co.uk. Oh and he’s very easy on the eye too ;o) x