Fertility Friend

30 09 2009

I’ve decided to start charting again… I’d just love to see my BBT temps rising, and rising, and rising :o)

For a while I thought the temp taking every morning and religiously charting were having a negative effect on my fertility, causing me stress but now I’m not sure.

I’m not 100% sure I’m going to start temping again but I’ll def note down all appts and stuff and see how it goes. I might start temping before ER and continue until PT.

My FF chart can be viewed here: FF chart





On a lighter note :o)

30 09 2009

Lancashire University Study

UQ’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example:

If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

:o)





I could run away…

30 09 2009
I thought I had a bad day on Sunday…well I did, it was very emotional, I was very emotional. Well Monday night also came with it’s own stresses and in a way it was worse!!

I had advertised my husbands workbench for sale on our staff noticeboard several weeks ago for £50 ono. A guy from work (whom I don’t know) contacted me to say he’d like to buy it for £20, we agreed that he could have it for that but we never heard from him again until 12 days  later. He contacted me for the dimensions of the bench (which were still in the advert, I hadn’t removed the ad as to me the bench wasn’t sold), so I gave them to him again. That was last Friday the 25th. Then on Monday afternoon the 28th another woman contacted me to say she’d like to buy the bench, she’d give me £50 for it and would pick it up that night.

I contacted the original guy to tell him that someone else was buying it and he told me I couldn’t do that as I had legally agreed to sell it to him according to Scots Law and that he was out of pocket (because he’d arranged for a van?) and that he was taking me to court.

I was like a nervous wreck, again I think the Buserelin overexaggerated my feelings about the whole thing. When I’m anxious or stressed I feel it in my stomach, usually I’d describe it as having butterflies.

Butterfly

Butterfly

Well Monday night and most of Tuesday it felt like a swarm of bees!

Swarm of bees

Swarm of bees

Yesterday morning I felt like running away, I felt I couldn’t cope and I wanted to escape all the stress. And I even think because I was so tense and stressed it caused my injection to turn out like this…

Welt on my thigh!

Welt on my thigh!

I’ve now got a sore bruise…deep sigh!

So I contacted the woman to tell her the bench had fell to pieces (just in case she threatened to take me to court too) and the original guy is coming to the house tomorrow night to pick up the bench. Now I am so angry that he has caused me so much stress, for such a small amount of money, at this time when I really need to keep stress free.

I’m back at the clinic tomorrow morning for my baseline U/S. I’ve asked DH to come with me in case they tell me I’ve got cysts or something and that they can’t continue with the IVF (I just know I’ll be a wreck and don’t want to be one all by myself). I know I’m probably thinking about it too much but I can’t help myself.

Will my body ever be the same again, will I ever be a rational, logical thinking person again… if I get a BFP I think the answer will be NOPE!! It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make ! :o)





Side effects?

28 09 2009

I had a hellish day yesterday and I am going to blame the drugs!! :o)

DH and I went shopping for some things we need since we’ve started redecorating our house. To cut a long story short, DH shouted at me for being “short” with him. I didn’t even realise I’d done it but apparently I did!!

A full blown argument ensued…mostly him shouting at me but I couldn’t stop crying and even today I feel very teary. I also feel very down, like a cloud is over me.

In the midst of the argument the thought “lets just not do IVF” popped in to my head. Luckily I never said it out loud and it quickly passed. Of course I want to continue with IVF but at that moment I felt overwhelmed…I don’t know why because I was sure I was feeling superb about it all (was I kidding myself??).

I also started thinking about DH and whether he’ll be much support through all this. He didn’t come to my last appt at the clinic and isn’t coming to the next one on Thursday 01 October, as he said “he’s not needed”. He’s maybe not needed to give a sample but I’m now starting to think I may need him to come and support ME!!

Even last week I said I didn’t need anyone to go with me because it’s only going to be an U/S scan.  But now I’m thinking if they tell me my OV’s aren’t quiet and I can’t start the stims yet I think I may break down…I don’t know, I just feel really emotional today. I might feel fine on Thursday morning (fingers crossed).

The fact that I’m even thinking I may need support is hard to bear, it’s just not me, I do things by myself and have always believed I’m an emotionally strong person. Is Buserelin turning me into a different person??

It also looks like AF has arrived for real, hopefully some of the AF symptoms will subside but I’m wondering if the Buserelin is the real cause of all this?!?

What can I do except continue… 4 injections down, however many left to do!

I’ve also just asked Dr Google about Buserelin and Lupron and it appears they are one and the same. I’ve read other blogs and do know others have had the same syptoms on Lupron so that’s it… it’s definitely the drugs!! :o)





It wasn’t AF!

26 09 2009

After posting yesterday that I thought AF had arrived, nothing else happened!

I had that spotting in the morning but I’ve had nothing since, so looks like it wasn’t AF starting…yeeha!! :o)

So…second day of injections…

It actually went so much better today, so good in fact that I didn’t realise I had injected all the Buserelin and that I had finished. I was in the kitchen by myself and doing my injection when I noticed that I couldn’t get the plunger of the syringe to go all the way down…to where I thought it should be. So I walked from the kitchen through to the bedoom, where DH was, with the syringe hanging out of my belly saying “help, you’ll need to help me”!

I asked DH to help with the plunger as I couldn’t move it any more…I wasn’t sure what I thought I’d done. He tried to move the plunger on the syringe too but couldn’t budge it either…no wonder, there was no more liquid in the syringe, I’d emptied it without noticing!! It went really easy and quickly compared to yesterday…hopefully it’ll be that easy from now on!

I also noticed that the  injection “site” feels a bit like a bruise, probably due to my denims rubbing against it, but I never noticed anything like this after yesterday’s jag . I also thought I could feel a small lump of liquid under my skin today.

Luckily I’m experiencing no side effects yet…long may it continue!





Coincidence?

25 09 2009

I don’t know if it’s a coincidence or not but I’ve just been to the loo and AF has arrived!!

I did think she’d make an appearance soon but I only took my last BCP yesterday morning and my first Buserelin injection 4 hours ago!

I’m just surprised she’s came so soon I suppose… oh well, there goes my plans for the weekend ;o)





Let the injections begin!

25 09 2009

So the start of human pin cushion begins…

I got all the paraphernalia ready last night. I set the syringe, 2 needles, vial of Buserelin and an alcohol swab on my bedside table last night so they were ready to go this morning. Not sure if that was a good idea though as everytime I woke up that was the first thing I saw.

I did think I’d have been more excited than I was but I kept putting the snooze button on my alarm, I was in no rush to get out of bed. I eventually got up at 8.00am and decided I’d take a shower before hand, to make sure I was fully awake!

DH was hanging around just in case I couldn’t do it and kept saying “have you done it yet?”. It took longer to get the syringe ready, I even had an attack of amnesia…I started questioning myself over how many mls I was to have in the syring. I talked myself down and knew it was only 0.5ml so that’s what I went with (I’m now sitting here thinking “did I read the measurements correct on the side of the syringe???”. Deary me, it’s gonna be a long 4 weeks! :o)

I took a photo of the syringe complete with the small needle used for the injection, as you can see, the overall length is 10cm but the needle is only about 1.25cm (I’ll double check tomorrow). I stuck the whole needle in, then got a bit of a fright and pulled it out again (it went in to my skin really easily) so I then had to stick it back in.

Buserelin syringe

Buserelin syringe

The sorest part was pushing the liquid in, it was just as tough as the test run I did with the pad at the clinic. I think it was the pressure of the actual syringe pushing against my skin that was the sorest thing. The needle is so fine you can’t even feel it going in.

I was left with a red mark but this was probably caused by me pinching my skin. I did the inection sitting on the side of my bed and now wonder if I’ve done it too low! If I’d have been standing it would have been further up my tummy, much closer to my belly button… oh well, you live and learn!! :o)

Injection site

Injection site

4 hours later and I  can’t even find the spot so it’s good to know the redness doesn’t last.

I’m hoping that I’ll start to get the hang of it and it’ll not take so long to do in the future.

And DH was a bit huffed that he didn’t get to “stab” me! But I’m glad I was able to do it myself :o)

I’ve been listening to my IVF Companion CD and I do think it has helped as I wasn’t stressed. I didn’t have to get myself into a calm state or anything and the CD suggests that the injection site will be more tingly than sore…I’ll keep this part in mind for 2moro.

If all goes to plan I’ve worked out that I’ll need 22 injections in total:

  • 7 days of Buserelin
  • 7 days of Buserelin + GONAL-f, then
  • 1 hCG shot!

So only 21 more to go!